And today started out so well...

You know how sometimes you have a to-do list, and you cross something off because you've taken care of it and it's a pretty important thing and you feel really good that it's taken care of and it's kind of a load off your mind?

And then, without warning, that thing that you crossed off of your to-do list some time ago with no small amount of relief reappears in your life and you have to worry about it again and you might as well never have crossed it off the list in the first place?

Yeah, I also love when that happens.

A non-update

Because Rosa asked, here's a picture of the exterior of my place. Ooh.

Yesterday morning I met with the contractor who will fix my floors. He will, in addition, be putting a couple of additional sheets of drywall on the ceiling, so that everything is up to code for the good people who enforce the fire code. He estimates that the work will be done by the end of this coming week. So I guess pencil it in to be done sometime around the end of April. If I'm lucky.

I'm ready to talk about Zoning. I needed a couple of days to get my head together and work through the rage, but now I'm ready to spill the beans. I went before the ZBA on Wednesday and I can say without any doubt that the Zoning process in this fair city is fucked, more or less. Well, more than less.

My hearing was scheduled for 2pm and I arrived around a quarter 'til. Nb: Since I went before the ZBA as an incorporated entity (well, technically as an LLC, but that's close enough as far as the ZBA is concerned), I had to appear with my attorney in tow. When I saw that I was 7th on the agenda, I was a little bummed that I would likely have to wait a little while to go before the board, but figured it was better to be 7th than 15th. And there was another hearing scheduled for 3:30, so how bad was this really going to be? Really bad, it turns out. See, after I came into the room, a steady flow of muslim-looking folks started streaming in. By the time the first case was being heard, there wasn't even standing room left in the place. There were maybe two hundred people in this room with 80 seats. My only hope was for the case that all of these people were there to support or oppose was being heard after my case. No such luck.

The Liquor Control Board wants to move their West Philadelphia Wine and Spirits Shoppe from its current location on 40th and Market to a former Rite-Aid on the 4200 block of Walnut St. There's a mosque across the street. The mosque is pretty strongly opposed to this concept. The other neighbors seem to be more or less in support. An hour and forty five minutes (and a few hundred dollars) later, the board cut off discussion on the topic. And I'm sitting there next to my attorney, who I'm paying by the minute and who's barely recovered from a stomach flu. Fabulous.

Maybe eight minutes later, my case number is called. I have a letter from the neighborhood association showing their support. I have a letter from the President of City Council showing her support. This should be really easy. Nope. Three people from the neighborhood have waited around for a few hours to protest my variance request. They say that they don't want any businesses in their residential neighborhood. They say that they have enough of a chance to mingle with the neighbors at the award winning community garden. They say that the landlord doesn't pick up trash that's often strewn in front of the property. Three people. Who really cared about their neighborhood. Who had every opportunity to bring these issues to the table at the SOSNA meeting (that they didn't attend). And you know what? The ZBA listened to them. And made this my problem. So I have a variance, but in two years, it expires. And I need to go back to the ZBA for approval for the variance. Again. So now I have to be on the lookout for any person who I might offend in the next two years who could come out to the ZBA meeting and ask to have me put out of business. Great.

I could rant about the system in this space, and I could go after members of the ZBA on a personal level, but that's not going to do anyone any good at any point. So I'll just say that the ZBA has really helped me out a lot. Thank you, ZBA. Thank you very much.

Fuck.

Nonplussed

Went before the ZBA yesterday and things were not as easy as I'd hoped.

I got my variance, but it was a painful process and there are some frustrating limitations. More specifics to follow when I'm less annoyed.

Like Siberia

Things are unchanged this week at 2001 Fitzwater. The good news is that the landlord has agreed to repair the floor joists. The bad news is that I don't know when that work is going to commence or exactly how long that work is going to take. And the additional bad news is that I can't really do anything in the space until that situation is resolved. According to countless small business books, DIY books, and small business DIY books I've read, it's apparently a poor choice to attempt to build walls on top of busted floors. This might be one of those times that I listen to what the books say.

In the meanwhile, I've been working (so very slowly) on my presentation for the health department. Right now, I'm drawing, to scale, the exact locations of my equipment behind and under the bar. I'm only a little concerned that I have no idea about where this stuff should go, ideally. Perhaps somewhat more of a concern is that after I present this plan to the health department I'm pretty much locked into this setup forever and ever. Unless I want to spend thousands to reroute the plumbing and electric that I'm going to spend thousands to route in the first place. Fantastic.

Still on for my hearing before the ZBA on Wednesday. Had the pleasure of going to City Council President Anna Verna's office last week to get a letter of support from the Councilwoman. Usually when you have a hearing scheduled at the ZBA, the Zoning Board passes along this information to your local Councilperson and someone starts a folder with your name on it to keep up on your situation etc. Except Verna's office never knew about me. So I had to go over there and hand deliver the notice I got from the ZBA regarding my hearing date and time along with the letter from the good people at SOSNA. And now I'll be getting my Verna letter on Tuesday. Good times. Good, efficient city we have here. Those different departments sure can communicate well. It's like fucking Babel over here.

Anyway.

Oh, and in case you weren't paying very careful attention last week, it's still winter for another three days. And we apparently live in New England. A snow and ice storm? After several days in the sixties and seventies? Whatthecrap?

The building is (possibly) falling down

Construction has begun. Without a permit.

In a perfect world, I'd be doing this project entirely by the book, pulling permits and doing things exactly as the arcane laws of Philadelphia demand. Unfortunately, the reality is that the laws in Philadelphia are indeed arcane, thus making careful rule following an unattainable dream. As far as I can understand, I'm not technically allowed to do any work in the space until after my Zoning hearing (3/21, 1515 Arch St, if you'd like to come by and cheer me on with homemade signs and extra-large foam #1 hands. You could make a clever sign like those ass kissers who try to get on television by using the station letters in an acrostic to show support for their team. Zany Brilliant Adler would be acceptable, but maybe you can do better). But since I've gotten the thumbs up from SOSNA, the ZBA hearing is sort of a technicality anyway, and it's pretty much in the bag that I'll be getting my zoning.

So according to the "rules," I'm not allowed to pull any permits until this zoning crap is dealt with, but I don't have the patience (or the financial flexibility) to wait another week to get started. In addition, I'm not entirely comfortable with the demands that would be placed on me if I were to try to pull permits for building a couple of walls. Again, according to those pesky rules, I'm supposed to submit architectural plans for any partitions that I wish to build, even if they are not load-bearing. And then I have to wait a couple weeks for an examiner to check them out, then get the local inspector to do her inspection thing. In the time it would take for the city to give me permission to legally build three walls, I think I could probably have the cafe up and running. So in this case, I'm just going to come out and say it: "F the rules." (Incidentally, should L&I slaps a 'Cease and Desist' on me in three days, I'll probably change my tune)

My first order of business in the restaurant was to figure out why the floor slopes down three inches in the back of the place. With that in mind and a crowbar in hand, I pried off like 25 square feet of the floor yesterday. I found that one (or maybe more) of the floor joists is kind of rotted out. Water damage, I think. So it seems that there's a slim chance that the building will collapse at any time. I'm meeting with my landlord tomorrow to go over options and hope to convince him to pay a professional to fix this issue. Since it would seem to be a bad situation for everyone if the building were to collapse. I guess it's a good thing I put down a premium on liability insurance the other day...

In (entirely un)related news, I believe I've secured most of my financing. I might not see most of the money for another few weeks, and the process of acquiring said financing has been a major roller coaster/pain in the ass, but I'm sleeping better knowing that it's coming. Someday.

Plans

I've been writing this f'in business plan for a month and I finally finished it tonight. 40 pages long. Fantastic.

Tomorrow I'll be sending it along to my friend the loan office at PNC Bank, who will be sending it along to his friend the underwriter at PNC Bank, who will be sending me some cash real soon. I hope. I really hope. Because if not, things are about to get a little tricky.

In other news, I spent a couple of hours at the space today, hanging paper in the windows and taking some "before" pictures. Can't wait to take some "in process" pictures or some "after" pictures. Or some "naughty" pictures. Espresso machines gone wild!

Also on deck this week: Building some walls, illegally, to make life difficult for the handicapped. But as my father taught me from a very young age: Screw the handicapped.

Signage etc.

I signed my lease this afternoon.

While this is very exciting, it probably means I ought to be committed.

Right after I signed, I went over to the space and took down the "Space Available" signs.

Tomorrow morning I'm going in, taking the wood planks off the windows and doorway, and putting up paper instead. Much more aesthetically pleasing.

And then I'll figure out where the bar's gonna go, and how big it's gonna be.

And then I'm gonna find a bag of money in the basement.